Chapter Three: Developing a Positive Mindset

In my fifth-grade math class, we have some pretty tough skills to cover throughout the year. Each year, I introduce how to solve fraction word problems and model the steps on the board. Quite a few students
became exasperated, saying things like “I’m never going to get this,” or “I’m not good at fractions,” or “Fractions just aren’t my thing.” These negative
messages impact them in more ways than they can see in the moment. Developing and maintaining a positive mindset can make
all the difference. My frustrated students are like
people who come to a roadblock— the new function in mathematics,
or, more generally, whatever is unfamiliar and new when introduced—and they either lose faith or give up trying to get to their destination. Others, though, decide to follow the detour signs and the unexpected twists and turns to eventually arrive at the place they want to be.
Some students see setbacks or struggles as a challenge that can be overcome by effort and practice, while others do not. Helping students develop a positive mindset, so they can tackle those challenges successfully, is part of my job as a teacher and part of the parents’ job. In the classroom, we try to remind students of other daunting subjects that they eventually mastered, and help them see that this tough problem is one they can conquer. It takes patience and being willing to try and fail before they can find success.
See how all these things interrelate? The ability to try and fail, and get up again, coupled with letting your child attempt new things on his own, feeds into helping him develop a positive mindset. “I thought these were so hard at first, but they don’t seem that way anymore,” one of my students said one day. We discussed how, when faced with new and challenging tasks, we need to remember that our initial ability to understand the problems doesn’t determine our success in solving them. How can this positive thinking impact your child’s success?

Academic Success
There is a critical focus right now in education on the term “growth mindset.” Those who hold that a growth mindset is key argue that the way you view learning and intelligence can determine how well you will succeed. In simple terms, let’s say you face a failure, like a bad grade, someone with a growth mindset would look at that bad grade as a setback, rather than just as a failure.
They would examine and analyze what they did wrong and use it to approach the next assignment differently in order to succeed. They’ll try studying harder, meeting with the teacher, or studying with a tutor, whatever it takes because they have the mindset that with more effort, practice, and help they will eventually “get” the task at hand—or, that, at least, it will be a learning experience to grow from. They request feedback to trigger new ideas and help them see where they went wrong.
Someone with a fixed mindset looks at the bad grade as one with no room for growth. Essentially, that’s how well they can do, and that’s that. They don’t, or can’t, see other possibilities, because they see only what is present; and they don’t like to face challenges head on for fear of failure. They might even be embarrassed by the grade and not want others to know about it. This is based on research by Stanford psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck over the span of 30 years. She coined the terms “fixed mindset” and “growth mindset” in her book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Educators look at her research to see how to encourage the learning process versus just focusing on the end product.

One time, while I was teaching early American inventions, I assigned my students to present a skit about their inventor and product. They had very clear guidelines on what to include and what level of involvement was expected. Despite this, one of the groups found this task very challenging and were off to a slow start. They had chosen to do their skit on Robert Fulton’s first American steamboat, “The Clermont.” Outside of school, however, they ended up banding together and allowing their creativity to overcome their doubts. On the day of the presentations, they arrived with a 5-foot model of the steamboat. One of the group members had decided to work on the project at home, and combined it with his passion for building. The model took their presentation to a whole new level and everyone’s enthusiasm ramped up. Positivity is a mindset like this that we try to develop in our students by our classroom practices, but sometimes finding that is simply up to them. This student could have just thrown up his hands and said this isn’t my type of project, but instead he found a way to make it work for him. Including STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math—a hands-on approach to learning that integrates all four areas) into the curriculum is important in education, because STEM is one of the primary means of evaluating schools. Students are often given a problem and must come up with or build a solution to the problem using a limited amount of resources and time. These types of activities can be very stressful to some students as they require a lot of higher-level thinking. The challenge can also be really exciting because it’s outside the realm of what they usually do.
One day in the science lab, we were building a model of the ocean floor with the supplies we had available. One group of students complained that they did not have enough of one particular supply to be able to finish their model. As a result, they kept telling me, “We don’t have enough. We can’t finish.” They dug in their heels, and at the end of the class, they had an incomplete model. On the flip side, another group had the same problem but worked around it. Instead of spending time to complain, they spent their energy coming up with a new idea. They were able to complete the model despite having the same problem as the first group.
These groups had different mindsets. The first group had a fixed mindset. They were frustrated, fighting, and gave up easily despite having feedback from the teacher. They couldn’t seem to get past the initial setback. It’s interesting to note, this was a group that was comprised of top-scoring students. In Dr. Dweck’s research, she suggested that students who were seen as smart were sometimes hesitant to do anything that risked them losing their smart status. Perhaps, then, with this group, they didn’t want to risk an alternative approach that could possibly fail, because they thought failing with the standard instructions and insufficient material might not be seen as failure.

Developing a growth mindset takes time and it’s important for teachers and parents to model this for the child. How do you do this? Focus on the process of learning, rather than grades or results. One way to do this is to praise her for her effort, as opposed to talking about how smart she is. Effort is something she can control. Being perceived as making an effort comes as a result of making an effort; being perceived as smart comes as a result of chance or nature. Effort-based compliments include the following:
“I can see you worked so hard.”
“Way to keep trying!”
“You sure challenged yourself.”
Another step toward a growth mindset is to acknowledge the importance of mistakes. Your child won’t always come home with an A, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. Th ere’s a lot that can be learned through an imperfect grade. Instead of just looking at grades, try to look at what your child is learning from the assignments. When he is discouraged, tell your child about times you have failed and what you’ve learned from those times. Th at will show your child that mistakes are a necessary part of learning. If your child is old enough to understand, talk to her about the fact that when you are learning challenging new material, your neurons are building new connections because dendrites are reaching out to other dendrites, which causes your brain to grow stronger—like how using muscles builds and strengthens them. The great thing is we live in a time where there are YouTube videos showing this concept in kid-friendly language. It’s an empowering concept for your child to learn, unlike when we were kids and our IQ tests determined how far we could go, limiting some children by labeling them as low IQ, and declaring others failure for having a high IQ and not being successful.
Another important step is to help your child learn to reframe her thoughts and statements. Frequently we hear our students say, “I can’t do that!” “It’s too hard!” or “I’m not good at math.” When you hear your child say things like that, don’t reinforce that language by saying things like “I’m not good at math either.” Instead, open it up by saying something like, “I had to train my brain at math.” Or “I’m working on getting better at math.” Acknowledge that math was—and, perhaps still is— a struggle, but you persevered. Another great tool we use right now is teaching our students to add the word “yet” to the end of these defeating sentences, “I can’t do that, yet.” It reminds them they are in the process of learning a new concept.
A good way to promote mindset is through literature. You should read books with your child and when you see examples, growth mindset or fixed mindset, talk about the advantages and disadvantages of each. As a reading teacher, my students will often point out examples they find of these mindsets in the main characters without prompting. Some examples of books you can look for at your local library are The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein, The Fantastic Elastic Brain: Stretch It, Shape It by JoAnn Deak (Ph. D), The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds, and The Most Magnificent Thing by Ashley Spires.
Outcomes are weighty, because, in the end, grades do matter too. All through the school year, we should look for that energy expended on learning to produce an improved understanding; the improved understanding will—or at least should—in turn, cause a better grade, product, or level. Keeping a growth mindset is never easy, because we have to develop the habit of continually evaluating how our practices encourage the child to grow, test boundaries, explore, fail, grow and learn. We do the best we can in the classroom and we encourage you to bring the practices into the home, because they encourage the mindset which best encourages a child to grow and learn.
Work Ethic
By modeling a strong work ethic at home, and nurturing it in your child, he is much more likely to develop a character-defining habit that will serve him well at home, in school, and in his adult life.

One simple work ethic practice you can do at home: in lieu of simply providing privileges and possessions, have your child earn them. It will help your child see that hard work is valuable and through that, she will experience the feeling of accomplishment. It will also allow her to learn delayed gratification, which is an important concept in today’s instant-everything world.
Nowadays, children are used to instant gratification. If they want to see a movie all they have to do is hop on the TV and stream it. Teaching delayed gratification and earning what they want promotes a strong work ethic. Students need to see the value in the process of learning and working.

Some time ago, while teaching second grade, I had the students do a dinosaur project. The students each researched a particular dinosaur, created a board or diorama, and presented the information to the class. The children were given a checklist of all that needed to be included in their final project. As you imagine, there were a range of grades received based on this rubric applied to the quality of work turned in. One student’s project lacked several components and the overall quality was poor; therefore, he did not receive an A. When returning the grades, the student was clearly upset and questioned what happened. We went over the criteria; and, together, we noted the elements he was missing. The disappointed boy admitted his project was started and finished the weekend before. He rushed to get it done and didn’t have time to finish all the requirements. It was a good teachable moment on what good a work ethic looks like.
How do you recognize a strong work ethic when you see it? Children with a strong work ethic have a sense of responsibility. They want to succeed in school; they take ownership of their work. They want to complete things to the best of their ability, whatever that may look like. Second, they demonstrate self-control. They have school and work as a priority over talking to their friends during class. They can resist the temptation to be lazy with a big project and they have learned to spread out the workload over several days or weeks. Third, these children are diligent. They work to the best of their ability, turning in thoughtfully completed work. We aren’t looking for every student to be exactly the same; rather, we are looking for them to do their best and to put in the time and effort needed to create quality work. With the above student, his work wasn’t his best nor was it high quality, something he acknowledged. Had he taken more time, he certainly
would have been one of the top-scoring students.

Finally, and most importantly, we are looking for honesty. We want students to do their own work, get help when they need it, and be willing to take
risks with independency. All of these elements come together to form a positive mindset, which creates a positive learning experience. It fosters more interest in education and thus, more success—a win-win all
around!